guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
