You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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