soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
