i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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