I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
