dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
