I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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