I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
