Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize
