My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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