I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize