I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
