Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
