True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
