It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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