I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
