So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
