I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
