She went from zero to smokin in five shots
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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