Kiss
Puke
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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