Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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