grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
