i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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