Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
