They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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