obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
