I'm drive I can fine osifer
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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