somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
