Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
