okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My vagina is officially offended.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
