it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
