Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
