And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
