Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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