I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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