New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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