So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize