oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
