32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
