Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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