Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
