even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone came in the potted fern
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
