i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize