This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Quick, to the slutcave!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
