Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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