Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
