Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize