he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
