You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
