I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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