Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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