im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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