in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize