i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
