It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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