Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
