writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
