Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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