I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
