he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
