...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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