you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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