Nicole vs. Life
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
