my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How naked do you want me to be?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
