My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
