why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
